While you may not respond to “show me ur boobs” text messages, the constant media coverage of hot-bad-girl celebrities and watching too many episodes of The Hills and Jersey Shore can skew one’s perception of appropriate behavior (and wardrobe choices). Before you know it, you’re rolling your Juicy sweats down so your thong shows and your Facebook profile picture is your behind, not your face.  This is where Derek Blasberg comes in. He just couldn’t take it anymore. So, he wrote Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady.

 

Entertaining and downright hilarious, Classy is the most enjoyable etiquette book I’ve come across.  He is more comprehensive than the size of the book lets on- from table manners to how to pack a bag to artists you should know, it is all there. How to pose for a picture? Got it. How to introduce people? Check. The educated insult? Working on it. But Blasberg has it mastered. He manages to be harsh but not self-righteous in tone, a delicate balance when you are telling people they’ve been behaving like a tramp.  The above quote is from the section  A Lady Looks For Love, “Lady vs. Tramp: In Relationships”.  Blasberg uses this section to discuss the ever popular sex tape.

 

“Purely from an aesthetic perspective (and we all know that the aesthetic perspective is the most important perspective of all), a sex tape is a bad idea. That’s just common sense: An amateur photographer with a crappy webcam and some blacklights taped to his ceiling will certainly do your body no justice- even if you have a supermodel figure. […] So I guess I should adjust the sex tape rule : If Steven Spielberg wants to shoot you naked, go ahead and do it.”

 

In A Lady Makes Friends, “Never Be Rude…Unless You Absolutely Must” Blasberg puts all of his wisdom on the subject in a nutshell of a paragraph: “Buy a book, go to a museum, see a movie. There’s more to life than being an asshole.” Yes. 

If you travel at all, you’ve seen this. Disturbingly accurate, from the Uggs to the messy hair, this picture represents one of the reasons a stylist such as Sarah Caples will never run out of work. Uggs, VS PINK sweats and an orange tan oh my! Blasberg makes a good point: “Your future boyfriend might be right there at the Chicago O’Hare Airport, bored off his tail on a layover like you are, but he doesn’t pay attention to you because you’re trolling about the Hudson News kiosks smelling like McDonald’s with ketchup running down your Juicy Couture jumpsuit.” So true. Another point to consider- wearing designer head- to-toe does not equal good taste. More often than not, you just look like a jerk- a boring jerk.

Etiquette books sound boring to most and worse, they often push a little into Stepford Wives territory.  Blasberg never goes there, but just in case there were any doubts, he leaves the reader with this:

“But please, bear in mind my goal isn’t to create troupes of boring, Puritan, conservative young women who don’t show any skin and don’t have any fun. (Shudder at the thought!) If the one thing you took out of this book was that smart girls don’t show their boobies on webcams, that’s enough for me.” Duly noted Blasberg, duly noted.